You probably know one or two of those 'perfect couples,' the ones you can't imagine ever breaking up, or even fighting. Whether they've been together 40 years, 15 years, or even just a year or two, they're perfectly content and totally committed to each other.
Ever wondered how they achieved that perfect balance and happiness? All couples are different, of course, but here are five things those couples most likely did, and still do.
1. Accentuate The Positive
People in happy, successful relationships understand that criticizing their partner too much does nothing but harm their partner's self-worth and cause resentment.
If you want to stay happy in your relationship, criticize as little as possible, or even not at all, if you can. Instead, focus on your partner's positive traits by giving compliments frequently and generously.
2. Strong Communication Leads To Strong Bonds
Couples who are in happy relationships keep them happy by keeping the lines of communication open, and talking every day. They not only give each other support and affirmation with their words, but they also communicate their affection through physical touch, and have time in their day set aside for intimacy.
To bond with your partner more closely, share your own feelings, and truly listen to what he's saying when he shares his own. Don't forget to steal a kiss every now and then to keep your physical bond as strong as your emotional bond.
3. Your Partner Is a Real, Imperfect Person - Love Him For It!
If your understanding of how relationships work and what they should be like comes entirely from the movies, TV, and novels, you need to be prepared for real life to surprise you, disappoint you, and ultimately broaden your perspective.
Difficulties crop up in every relationship. When they do, automatically assuming that you didn't choose the right person and need to try again is a big mistake. Couples who have found true happiness found it by loving their partner just the way they really are.
4. Give Each Other Space To Pursue Individual Interests
Couples with happy, healthy relationships have mutual interests, but they have separate interests, too, and they respect each others' individual interests. They don't do things together 100% of the time just because they think they should.
For example, if the couples' dance classes you're trying to take together is causing fights and anxiety every week, go ahead and spend that evening out with your friends, and tell your partner he should do the same.
When you take time to do things separately and give your relationship some space, you're actually demonstrating a commitment to stay together. Think about it - if you're together all the time, you'll never have an opportunity to look forward to seeing each other!
5. Surprise Your Partner Every So Often
Maybe you and your partner have been together so long you can tell each others' favorite stories from memory, but even then, doing something unexpected for your partner can really strengthen your relationship.
Think about breaking up the monotony of your everyday life in some small way, like catching a movie during the week, or just giving each other your undivided attention for a little while, with no electronic devices to get in the way.
In Conclusion...
Making the effort to do little things like these can work wonders for your relationship. Have fun making your relationship happier with these tips - you just may be starting on the road to becoming one of those happy couples you admire so much.
Do you often feel like you do not understand your man? Or are you single and have not been able to find Mr Right? Are you doing everything right on your first date with a hot guy?
Jumat, 17 November 2017
Senin, 30 Oktober 2017
Celebrating a Milestone Birthday With a Customized Birthday Invitation
Aside from a wedding invitation, a birthday invitation is the best way to inform loved ones that you are going to celebrate another milestone in your life. But there are some birthdays more special than others. For adults, these are milestones that impact the passage of time; such as the 30th, 40th, and 50th birthdays or even a 100th birthday! These are reasons to celebrate and need a special milestone birthday invitations to bring the message to your friends and family so they will be around to celebrate the occasion with you.
Specially created for you, custom birthday invitations show the relevance of the occasion. Just as you would also prefer a customized wedding invitation, you have the option to personally design the invitation or have it customized by some reputable printing shops. Here are some ideas you can adopt in designing your milestone birthday invitation card:
Your 18th Birthday- A great kick off to start the celebration is by sending personalized invitations which will fit your theme. This is the best way to mark your entrance into the adult world with family and friends. Choose 18 roses, 18 pastel candles or pink balloons as part of your design.
30th Birthday - Consider every conceivable theme and pattern to make it more personal and creative. The tone can be casual to formal using eye-catching designs and shapes to make the occasion stand out. It could be colorful and vibrant similar to an ethnic wedding invitation.
40th Birthday- Greet your 40th year with a Smile! Make these invitations memorable, specially designed to highlight unforgettable moments. Custom birthday Invitation might be chic, funny, serious or whimsical.
50th Birthday - With age comes wisdom-and fun! Whether your goal is to toast or roast, your guests will be glad that you are having another milestone; meeting your age with dignity and a sense of humor. Or just as romantic in tone as your wedding invitation from decades ago.
60th Birthday - Send personalized invitations to family and friends to celebrate your 60th year; the best reason to have a party. Designs that are colorful, bold and festive, or perhaps a black and white motif will make invitation cards appealing.
70th Birthday -70 is a great accomplishment! It is a fact that any birthday ending in zero is great, especially the 70th birthday. A grand milestone birthday celebration is coming.
100th Birthday - It is almost incredible to reach a century. Make the invitation fantastic! Place a photo of the celebrant in a favorite picture framed and in the circle place the number 100. You can print all the details of the events below and even in the back.
Depending upon the time and your type of personality, the tone of the custom birthday invitation can be appreciative, complimentary, funny, heartfelt, inspirational, lighthearted, religious, romantic, simply stated and suggestive.
Specially created for you, custom birthday invitations show the relevance of the occasion. Just as you would also prefer a customized wedding invitation, you have the option to personally design the invitation or have it customized by some reputable printing shops. Here are some ideas you can adopt in designing your milestone birthday invitation card:
Your 18th Birthday- A great kick off to start the celebration is by sending personalized invitations which will fit your theme. This is the best way to mark your entrance into the adult world with family and friends. Choose 18 roses, 18 pastel candles or pink balloons as part of your design.
30th Birthday - Consider every conceivable theme and pattern to make it more personal and creative. The tone can be casual to formal using eye-catching designs and shapes to make the occasion stand out. It could be colorful and vibrant similar to an ethnic wedding invitation.
40th Birthday- Greet your 40th year with a Smile! Make these invitations memorable, specially designed to highlight unforgettable moments. Custom birthday Invitation might be chic, funny, serious or whimsical.
50th Birthday - With age comes wisdom-and fun! Whether your goal is to toast or roast, your guests will be glad that you are having another milestone; meeting your age with dignity and a sense of humor. Or just as romantic in tone as your wedding invitation from decades ago.
60th Birthday - Send personalized invitations to family and friends to celebrate your 60th year; the best reason to have a party. Designs that are colorful, bold and festive, or perhaps a black and white motif will make invitation cards appealing.
70th Birthday -70 is a great accomplishment! It is a fact that any birthday ending in zero is great, especially the 70th birthday. A grand milestone birthday celebration is coming.
100th Birthday - It is almost incredible to reach a century. Make the invitation fantastic! Place a photo of the celebrant in a favorite picture framed and in the circle place the number 100. You can print all the details of the events below and even in the back.
Depending upon the time and your type of personality, the tone of the custom birthday invitation can be appreciative, complimentary, funny, heartfelt, inspirational, lighthearted, religious, romantic, simply stated and suggestive.
Kamis, 05 Oktober 2017
You Think You Make Conscious Decisions About Your Intimate Relationships? Think Twice!
You think that you make decisions logically and thoughtfully, out of awareness to your needs and will? Think twice! This isn't always the case. Your decisions and choices are controlled by the messages you internalized, perception of reality you have developed, fears, expectations and fantasies. These all influence the way you react and behave in your relationships.
MEG
Meg and George moved in together about a week after they met and immediately began to talk about having a family and raising children. They were in heaven. Everything seemed perfect. They didn't use contraceptives.
The crisis started when Meg discovered she was pregnant. Suddenly, she backed off from her desire for a family. She felt she wasn't ready yet; that first she wanted to obtain a profession. She didn't understand why she'd been so hasty.
Explanation
As a child, Meg internalized the message that "a girl should marry young and have children". Without being aware, this message affected her "choice" of so quickly moving in with George and immediately thinking about a family.
SANDRA
Not a day goes by without Sandra arguing with Dave about straightening up the house. She reproaches him, saying that he never helps out, claiming that he's self-centered and inconsiderate. He tells her to get off his back and stop telling him what to do. They have the same fight every day, and it's beginning to ruin their relationship.
Explanation
Sandra is not aware that mimicking her mother, she's become a prisoner of her "choice" to maintain a clean home at all times. She's not able to change her behavior (which by now has become a pattern), even though it's sabotaging her relationship with Dave.
Why the "choices" you make are not conscious?
How is it that many of the "choices" you make are not conscious - and nevertheless you often believe they are?
The answer is simple: you are often not aware of the many factors affecting your "choices". You have grown up unconsciously internalizing messages and adopting perceptions and beliefs that drive your choices.
SALLY
Sally really wants to cultivate a permanent, secure relationship but for some reason, she always ends up with partners who abandon her. She doesn't understand how that keeps happening to her. Could it be that "all men are the same"?
Explanation
Sally grew up in a home in which her parents were always fighting. Her father constantly threatened to leave until one day he actually did. This situation created the belief in her mind that: "That's the way men are, they always leave". This belief drives her into relationships with men who always leave her:
* Sometimes she unconsciously "chooses" men who aren't free (married; workaholics; afraid of commitment). Through these "choices" she "protects" herself: she knows in advance that one day they'll leave.
* Sometimes she "chooses" to behave in ways that will cause her partners to leave (she accuses them of cheating; smothers them with her neediness; argues with them constantly).
As long as Sally will not become aware of her "choices", she is likely to sabotage her relationships time and again.
Just like Sally, so do Pablo's unconscious "choices" of behavior sabotage his relationship:
PABLO
Pablo was often sick and always expected Doreen to take care of him. When she didn't, he would protest angrily and demand more attention. The more time passed and the more often Pablo got sick, the more they argued.
Explanation
As a child, Pablo suffered from asthma, and each time he had an attack, his mother nursed him devotedly. Pablo learned that when he needs attention, the way to get it is to become sick. He is not aware of his own "choice" of behavior. When Doreen doesn't take care of him with the devotion he's grown accustomed to from his mother, he protests angrily. His behavior distances Doreen instead of bringing her closer.
MEG
Meg and George moved in together about a week after they met and immediately began to talk about having a family and raising children. They were in heaven. Everything seemed perfect. They didn't use contraceptives.
The crisis started when Meg discovered she was pregnant. Suddenly, she backed off from her desire for a family. She felt she wasn't ready yet; that first she wanted to obtain a profession. She didn't understand why she'd been so hasty.
Explanation
As a child, Meg internalized the message that "a girl should marry young and have children". Without being aware, this message affected her "choice" of so quickly moving in with George and immediately thinking about a family.
SANDRA
Not a day goes by without Sandra arguing with Dave about straightening up the house. She reproaches him, saying that he never helps out, claiming that he's self-centered and inconsiderate. He tells her to get off his back and stop telling him what to do. They have the same fight every day, and it's beginning to ruin their relationship.
Explanation
Sandra is not aware that mimicking her mother, she's become a prisoner of her "choice" to maintain a clean home at all times. She's not able to change her behavior (which by now has become a pattern), even though it's sabotaging her relationship with Dave.
Why the "choices" you make are not conscious?
How is it that many of the "choices" you make are not conscious - and nevertheless you often believe they are?
The answer is simple: you are often not aware of the many factors affecting your "choices". You have grown up unconsciously internalizing messages and adopting perceptions and beliefs that drive your choices.
SALLY
Sally really wants to cultivate a permanent, secure relationship but for some reason, she always ends up with partners who abandon her. She doesn't understand how that keeps happening to her. Could it be that "all men are the same"?
Explanation
Sally grew up in a home in which her parents were always fighting. Her father constantly threatened to leave until one day he actually did. This situation created the belief in her mind that: "That's the way men are, they always leave". This belief drives her into relationships with men who always leave her:
* Sometimes she unconsciously "chooses" men who aren't free (married; workaholics; afraid of commitment). Through these "choices" she "protects" herself: she knows in advance that one day they'll leave.
* Sometimes she "chooses" to behave in ways that will cause her partners to leave (she accuses them of cheating; smothers them with her neediness; argues with them constantly).
As long as Sally will not become aware of her "choices", she is likely to sabotage her relationships time and again.
Just like Sally, so do Pablo's unconscious "choices" of behavior sabotage his relationship:
PABLO
Pablo was often sick and always expected Doreen to take care of him. When she didn't, he would protest angrily and demand more attention. The more time passed and the more often Pablo got sick, the more they argued.
Explanation
As a child, Pablo suffered from asthma, and each time he had an attack, his mother nursed him devotedly. Pablo learned that when he needs attention, the way to get it is to become sick. He is not aware of his own "choice" of behavior. When Doreen doesn't take care of him with the devotion he's grown accustomed to from his mother, he protests angrily. His behavior distances Doreen instead of bringing her closer.
Senin, 25 September 2017
Relationship Advice - Do You Still Know What Your Partner Is About?
Have you ever stopped to think whether or not you really understand what your partner is about: what their hopes and dreams are? That may seem like a very silly question, especially if you have been in a long-term relationship. However, it is in a long-term relationship many partners grow apart and forget who their partner really is and what they are about.
As we go through life trying to get through our work days, raising our family, and taking part in all of the other necessary tasks, it can be very easy to forget the needs of our partner, the one we say we are in love with.
In the end, we are all individual people who have our own needs, wants, dreams and goals. If you stay focused on doing "everything else" and then forget about who your partner really is, it's quite probable their needs are not being met. Maybe the same could be said for yourself as well. Just because we become parents, employees, and play so many other roles in life, it doesn't mean we are no longer individuals with our needs and wants.
Here are some steps to take to help you rediscover what your partner is currently about:
ask him or her... it might seem simple, but ask your partner some questions so you can become more familiar with what he or she really wants to do in life. Ask about their goals and dreams. Ask how you can help them to achieve some of their aspirations. Not only does this give you crucial information as to what your partner is all about but, it also shows you care about them as an individual who still has dreams for their life.
take a real look at your partner's hobbies. This will give you a few clues about who they really are also. For instance, was your husband once an avid golfer? Maybe he is so busy he doesn't get to play golf all that often now. That will give you an opportunity to purchase a new set of clubs... or a gift card to a local golf course.
play games... there are many different games available in book form, or online, where you can find a list of questions to ask your partner. For instance, do you know what their biggest challenge has been in life? How about their biggest failure? There are so many different questions you can ask so you have more insight into who your partner really is at their deepest level. You can learn a lot from just a simple question-asking game like this.
Learn about yourself... have you overlooked your partner's needs? Are destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship. If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?
As we go through life trying to get through our work days, raising our family, and taking part in all of the other necessary tasks, it can be very easy to forget the needs of our partner, the one we say we are in love with.
In the end, we are all individual people who have our own needs, wants, dreams and goals. If you stay focused on doing "everything else" and then forget about who your partner really is, it's quite probable their needs are not being met. Maybe the same could be said for yourself as well. Just because we become parents, employees, and play so many other roles in life, it doesn't mean we are no longer individuals with our needs and wants.
Here are some steps to take to help you rediscover what your partner is currently about:
ask him or her... it might seem simple, but ask your partner some questions so you can become more familiar with what he or she really wants to do in life. Ask about their goals and dreams. Ask how you can help them to achieve some of their aspirations. Not only does this give you crucial information as to what your partner is all about but, it also shows you care about them as an individual who still has dreams for their life.
take a real look at your partner's hobbies. This will give you a few clues about who they really are also. For instance, was your husband once an avid golfer? Maybe he is so busy he doesn't get to play golf all that often now. That will give you an opportunity to purchase a new set of clubs... or a gift card to a local golf course.
play games... there are many different games available in book form, or online, where you can find a list of questions to ask your partner. For instance, do you know what their biggest challenge has been in life? How about their biggest failure? There are so many different questions you can ask so you have more insight into who your partner really is at their deepest level. You can learn a lot from just a simple question-asking game like this.
Learn about yourself... have you overlooked your partner's needs? Are destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship. If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?
Senin, 04 September 2017
The Cure to Falling Out of Love - How to Get a Lover Back Who No Longer Wants You
How to get a lover back who no longer wants you has been a question romanticized since the invention of writing. The question of how or why this occurs is often asked by those suffering and wanting answers to their dilemma and advice concerning what to do.
Sometimes falling outs occur with couples because their relationship has always been one-sided. One or both partners may even suffer in silence and denial, never admitting this possibility. They could have been pushed into a naive relationship, inexperience and unaware to the price of their union. Attraction to each other, as a result, may diminish or may not even have existed at all. And at the end, unrequited love rears its ugly head; reality hits and clear signs emerge that one partner may have cared more, invested more. They break up, separate. One unable to move away from the relationship, and the other already established in another. While the one rejecting moves to a motion of self-satisfaction, the rejected barely clings to hope; wondering how to get a lover back.
Other times, falling outs occur because partners were never really close to begin with. Maybe sex became a driving force for their attachment or they never got past physical attraction. Either one could have developed a phobia of friendship; scared that an intimate investment in each others lives would devoid themselves. Or maybe sex itself has been an issue; one partner insisting upon too much friendship, denying the pathway to the development of a healthy and mature sexual relationship. All too often frustration mounts, driving them apart like a moving wall of water. Again, when all seems lost, one wonders how to get a lover back.
The good news is that people who have fallen out of love do not have to stay out of love and the problems between couples are usually easily fixable. Here are some steps showing how to get a lover back:
Self-closure: Do you still think about your former lover every day, all day? Well, stop! Go ask trusted friends how they viewed the separation, get out the hurt and go have some fun with them. Alternatively, go make some new friends and get your mind off of you and your ex-partner altogether.
Self-acceptance: Do you believe there are some good traits about you that your former lover took for granted? Get a pin and pencil out and list them out. Focus on your strengths.
Self-reinterpretation: Did your former significant lover lobby a consistent complaint against you? Maybe you should have listened. Now is the right time to change things about yourself that make you unfit for anybody. Your former lover might be right about a few things.
Self-love: Could you have been wrongly disgusted by yourself? Learn to love your self despite flaws. Understand that you are human and its alright to make mistakes. Just love yourself enough to learn how to recognize and fix them when they occur. Understand the lessons in life are there to strengthen you and your relationships. Accept yourself and understand that unconditional love can be given to another only after you have given it to yourself; it is the true key to understanding how to get a lover back.
Sometimes falling outs occur with couples because their relationship has always been one-sided. One or both partners may even suffer in silence and denial, never admitting this possibility. They could have been pushed into a naive relationship, inexperience and unaware to the price of their union. Attraction to each other, as a result, may diminish or may not even have existed at all. And at the end, unrequited love rears its ugly head; reality hits and clear signs emerge that one partner may have cared more, invested more. They break up, separate. One unable to move away from the relationship, and the other already established in another. While the one rejecting moves to a motion of self-satisfaction, the rejected barely clings to hope; wondering how to get a lover back.
Other times, falling outs occur because partners were never really close to begin with. Maybe sex became a driving force for their attachment or they never got past physical attraction. Either one could have developed a phobia of friendship; scared that an intimate investment in each others lives would devoid themselves. Or maybe sex itself has been an issue; one partner insisting upon too much friendship, denying the pathway to the development of a healthy and mature sexual relationship. All too often frustration mounts, driving them apart like a moving wall of water. Again, when all seems lost, one wonders how to get a lover back.
The good news is that people who have fallen out of love do not have to stay out of love and the problems between couples are usually easily fixable. Here are some steps showing how to get a lover back:
Self-closure: Do you still think about your former lover every day, all day? Well, stop! Go ask trusted friends how they viewed the separation, get out the hurt and go have some fun with them. Alternatively, go make some new friends and get your mind off of you and your ex-partner altogether.
Self-acceptance: Do you believe there are some good traits about you that your former lover took for granted? Get a pin and pencil out and list them out. Focus on your strengths.
Self-reinterpretation: Did your former significant lover lobby a consistent complaint against you? Maybe you should have listened. Now is the right time to change things about yourself that make you unfit for anybody. Your former lover might be right about a few things.
Self-love: Could you have been wrongly disgusted by yourself? Learn to love your self despite flaws. Understand that you are human and its alright to make mistakes. Just love yourself enough to learn how to recognize and fix them when they occur. Understand the lessons in life are there to strengthen you and your relationships. Accept yourself and understand that unconditional love can be given to another only after you have given it to yourself; it is the true key to understanding how to get a lover back.
Minggu, 27 Agustus 2017
10 Signs Of A Clingy, Needy, Jealous or Controlling Girlfriend, And How To Deal With It
Do you constantly feel stifled, restricted or suffocated by your clingy girlfriend's excessive neediness, jealousy or controlling behaviour? Being in a relationship should lead to one's growth, with both partners making compromises and helping each other to widen their horizons. If you feel more like a hostage than a beloved, you may be in a co-dependent relationship.
A co-dependent relationship, which is usually unhealthy, is characterized by having a partner who:
1) Demands to be by your side more often than necessary
2) Expects a call from you several times in a day
3) Needs to know where you are at all times
4) Feels jealous when you are with other women
5) Discourages you from having female friends
6) Frowns on your spending time with male friends
7) Keeps you on your toes for fear of slipping up
8) Constantly analyzes everything about your relationship
9) Pressures you to commit to things you are not ready for, like marriage
10) Acts overly protective or inappropriately clingy in public
It takes two to be in a co-dependent relationship, thus, you also play a role in this unhealthy set up. It's important for you to recognize that a relationship where one is unstable or controlling often results to physical and mental stress for the other, and tolerating such a relationship will eventually lead to a miserable existence for both of you.
Clingy, needy, or excessively jealous women tend to have major issues with self-esteem. And you may have such issues as well since people with similar levels of self-esteem tend to attract each other. Try to address these issues with your partner if possible so you can both work towards having a healthy relationship. Make her aware how her controlling and demanding ways make you feel stifled and suffocated. Let her know how important it is for you to have a sense of freedom and independence.
Many men, however, find it hard to bring up such issues with their dominating partners. They are afraid that discussing such issues will make her overreact or cause further conflict. You may need a third party to help you address these issues, wherein you can freely speak up without fearing the consequences.
On the other hand, you might feel the need to end the relationship, but couldn't do so because of many reasons and that the time is not right. This usually puts men in a dilemma as they want to end the relationship for their own good but couldn't find the will or the strength to leave. As a co-dependent himself, several reasons prevent him from taking that step:
• He doesn't have the heart to hurt her and see her cry
• He fears that she wouldn't be able to handle the break up, go out of control, and do something drastic that could ruin their lives
• She depends on him for what he can provide (house, ride, etc.), and they have shared properties or assets
• They are engaged and everyone is expecting a wedding
No matter what the reason, the bottom line is that you feel responsible for her and you think she could not live without you. The truth is, there is no better time to leave than now, and no one else can do it but you. Nothing is impossible when you put your heart and mind into it.
A co-dependent relationship, which is usually unhealthy, is characterized by having a partner who:
1) Demands to be by your side more often than necessary
2) Expects a call from you several times in a day
3) Needs to know where you are at all times
4) Feels jealous when you are with other women
5) Discourages you from having female friends
6) Frowns on your spending time with male friends
7) Keeps you on your toes for fear of slipping up
8) Constantly analyzes everything about your relationship
9) Pressures you to commit to things you are not ready for, like marriage
10) Acts overly protective or inappropriately clingy in public
It takes two to be in a co-dependent relationship, thus, you also play a role in this unhealthy set up. It's important for you to recognize that a relationship where one is unstable or controlling often results to physical and mental stress for the other, and tolerating such a relationship will eventually lead to a miserable existence for both of you.
Clingy, needy, or excessively jealous women tend to have major issues with self-esteem. And you may have such issues as well since people with similar levels of self-esteem tend to attract each other. Try to address these issues with your partner if possible so you can both work towards having a healthy relationship. Make her aware how her controlling and demanding ways make you feel stifled and suffocated. Let her know how important it is for you to have a sense of freedom and independence.
Many men, however, find it hard to bring up such issues with their dominating partners. They are afraid that discussing such issues will make her overreact or cause further conflict. You may need a third party to help you address these issues, wherein you can freely speak up without fearing the consequences.
On the other hand, you might feel the need to end the relationship, but couldn't do so because of many reasons and that the time is not right. This usually puts men in a dilemma as they want to end the relationship for their own good but couldn't find the will or the strength to leave. As a co-dependent himself, several reasons prevent him from taking that step:
• He doesn't have the heart to hurt her and see her cry
• He fears that she wouldn't be able to handle the break up, go out of control, and do something drastic that could ruin their lives
• She depends on him for what he can provide (house, ride, etc.), and they have shared properties or assets
• They are engaged and everyone is expecting a wedding
No matter what the reason, the bottom line is that you feel responsible for her and you think she could not live without you. The truth is, there is no better time to leave than now, and no one else can do it but you. Nothing is impossible when you put your heart and mind into it.
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